Recently Donald Miller (who I like to reference in my blog more than anyone else) got engaged. Earlier this week, he wrote a blog post about how his new fiance, Paige, found a journal entry in which she listed out the qualities she wanted in her future spouse. Miller includes this list in his blog post, and it includes a lot of good things, like how she wanted a guy who wants to talk to her every day, who is consistent in his actions and behavior, who reassures her, and who puts her first in his life after God. Miller also writes that making a list like this "gives a single person a filter through which to weed out candidates that don't fit," and he encourages his single readers to make a list of qualities that they themselves would like to see in a future significant other.
That seemed like a good idea, and so, for your enjoyment, I present my own list. So, without further ado:
I want someone who...
- Is unable to beat me in arm wrestling. (This really narrows down the field.)
- Can tolerate being in a room with me for at least 10 minutes at a time. (Again, this narrows things down quite a bit.)
- Will watch ball games with me without expecting me to watch HGTV or Lifetime with her.
- Works at a BBQ restaurant so that she can hook me up with free food. Or even better, lives in a BBQ restaurant, so that I can eat some whenever I go see her.
- Reads a lot (especially Donald Miller, C.S. Lewis, and A Chicken in a Cage With a Ferret).
- Doesn't have any Ke$ha or Justin Bieber songs on her iPod.
- Would rather be treated to a nice dinner at Chick-fil-A than at fancy French restaurant.
- Can understand mumbling. It gets to be too much effort for me to speak up.
- Won't criticize me in public for my jean shorts.
- Can come up with good blog post ideas when I can't think of anything.
- Wears glasses. Yup.
- Doesn't make fun of my voice when I sing during the songs at church. Or when I just talk, actually.
- Thinks that a guy who is good at bowling is way more attractive than a football player.
- Doesn't chew her ice.
- Looks good in Cincinnati Reds apparel. (Of course, who doesn't?)
- Would be down for semiannual Planet of the Apes marathons.
Well, I guess that's about it. Granted, I would waive any of these criteria for my old bank teller, Katie. But I don't know where she is now, and all last semester I had Kyle Tapper as my bank teller instead. He's nice and all, but it was just such a downgrade.
What's on your list?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Ministry to the Family
I'll begin this post by warning you right off the bat: This post is intended mainly for those who are in Christian leadership of some sort. I preface everything by telling you this so that, when you get to the end, you don't write me hateful emails saying that I'm neglecting a segment of my already-dwindling fan base. You've been forewarned. However, I hope that even if you're not a minister or anything like that, I hope that this post is still helpful to you.
For the past week, I've been reading the book of 1 Timothy. This letter was written by Paul to his friend Timothy, and it gives a lot of instruction for Timothy, who was serving as a young leader in the church at Ephesus. I figured it would be a good book to study as I begin my summer internship at my home church, and I have enjoyed it a great deal. The other day, I was struck with something Paul writes in 1 Timothy 5:1-2--"Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."
Reading these verses caused me to stop for a moment and ask myself, "How do I think of the church in which I serve?" This passage in 1 Timothy suggests that we think of our churches as families. The metaphor of the church as a family is a common one in the New Testament, but I had never before considered what this metaphor means specifically for a church leader. Timothy, serving in Ephesus, is told to think of the people of that church as his fathers, brothers, mothers, and sisters.
Christian leaders often think of the church in other terms (and these are typically good ways to think of the church). Perhaps the most common is for a minister to talk about his "flock." This metaphor is scriptural even, as Paul tells the Ephesian elders to keep watch over the flock because they are "shepherds of the church of God" (Acts. 20:28). Understanding the church as a flock helps the minister remember his responsibility to care for the church, just as a shepherd's responsibility is to watch over the sheep.
In the same way, it is necessary for leaders to also think of the church as a family. I think this can radically alter the passion with which a leader approaches his ministry. To be honest, there are some days when I wake up, and I'm not excited about going to work at a church. There are days when it would be nicer to stay in bed. And, I imagine, there are days when a shepherd may not be jazzed about going out to the field and watching sheep all day. However, when I think of the church as my family, my task gains new significance. Going to the church is almost like a family reunion. It means I get to spend time with my brothers and sisters in Christ. And, spending time with family is (or at least should be) a positive experience. It becomes much harder for me to get down about my busyness or duties when I remember that they are for the good of my family in Christ.
The way in which we conceive of the church has a big impact on how we relate to it. The Bible gives us a multi-faceted, diverse picture of the church, and we would do well to keep in mind all of the ways in which the church is described. We would also do well not to make fun of the dork who has white hands but sunburned arms because he was outside wearing work gloves all day. And we would also do well to buy him lunch for good measure. And I would do well to wish my dad a Happy Father's Day tomorrow, and you would do well to do the same for yours. And finally, I would do well to stop using the phrase "would do well." It's pretty obnoxious, really.
For the past week, I've been reading the book of 1 Timothy. This letter was written by Paul to his friend Timothy, and it gives a lot of instruction for Timothy, who was serving as a young leader in the church at Ephesus. I figured it would be a good book to study as I begin my summer internship at my home church, and I have enjoyed it a great deal. The other day, I was struck with something Paul writes in 1 Timothy 5:1-2--"Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."
Reading these verses caused me to stop for a moment and ask myself, "How do I think of the church in which I serve?" This passage in 1 Timothy suggests that we think of our churches as families. The metaphor of the church as a family is a common one in the New Testament, but I had never before considered what this metaphor means specifically for a church leader. Timothy, serving in Ephesus, is told to think of the people of that church as his fathers, brothers, mothers, and sisters.
Christian leaders often think of the church in other terms (and these are typically good ways to think of the church). Perhaps the most common is for a minister to talk about his "flock." This metaphor is scriptural even, as Paul tells the Ephesian elders to keep watch over the flock because they are "shepherds of the church of God" (Acts. 20:28). Understanding the church as a flock helps the minister remember his responsibility to care for the church, just as a shepherd's responsibility is to watch over the sheep.
In the same way, it is necessary for leaders to also think of the church as a family. I think this can radically alter the passion with which a leader approaches his ministry. To be honest, there are some days when I wake up, and I'm not excited about going to work at a church. There are days when it would be nicer to stay in bed. And, I imagine, there are days when a shepherd may not be jazzed about going out to the field and watching sheep all day. However, when I think of the church as my family, my task gains new significance. Going to the church is almost like a family reunion. It means I get to spend time with my brothers and sisters in Christ. And, spending time with family is (or at least should be) a positive experience. It becomes much harder for me to get down about my busyness or duties when I remember that they are for the good of my family in Christ.
The way in which we conceive of the church has a big impact on how we relate to it. The Bible gives us a multi-faceted, diverse picture of the church, and we would do well to keep in mind all of the ways in which the church is described. We would also do well not to make fun of the dork who has white hands but sunburned arms because he was outside wearing work gloves all day. And we would also do well to buy him lunch for good measure. And I would do well to wish my dad a Happy Father's Day tomorrow, and you would do well to do the same for yours. And finally, I would do well to stop using the phrase "would do well." It's pretty obnoxious, really.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Obligations or Opportunities
I've been called a pessimist once or twice in my lifetime. I've been called a Debbie Downer. I've been called a killjoy. I've been called a terrible dancer. Unfortunately, these labels are true much of the time. It's an aspect of my character that I'm not very fond of. (Of course, that statement itself is a little bit of a downer. Sorry.)
Part of the problem, I have realized, is the way in which is perceive the various activities that I do throughout the day. It's a sad truth that, much of the time, I don't really like what I'm doing. It's almost like I wake up every day and immediately think, "Bleh, I have to do this and this and this, and I really don't want to." That's not a very positive way to live. It becomes difficult to get much enjoyment out of just about any activity.
My mistake in this attitude is that I tend to view the things I do as obligations. This automatically makes them less enjoyable for me, because I perceive them as something I have to do. I'll think, "I have to go work at the church all day, and then I have to take care of this chore, and then I have to do that." At times, even though I probably wouldn't say it out loud, I thinkm "Now I have to spend some time in the Bible and prayer." Even if it's something that I generally enjoy doing in itself, it becomes a burden when I think of it as an obligation.
A helpful shift in thinking is to begin seeing happenings in my life as opportunities instead of obligations. It's to look at a situation and focus on the good that can come out of it instead of my duty to get it done. Nearly every situation has a positive potential, with the exception of going to the dentist, unless I think about the opportunity I'll have to say curse words in my head.
Here's an example: For the most part, I'm not very eager to be someplace where I don't really know many people. I'm just not all that outgoing, and I always feel awkward and in the way. (Granted, the fact that I think of myself this way usually causes me to actually be that way. It's the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing.) Because of my aversion to being on socially unfamiliar grounds, I normally dislike those situations and certainly don't look forward to them. However, if I simply change my perception from seeing such a situation as an obligation to seeing it as an opportunity, it becomes much more enjoyable. I can think of it as an opportunity to meet new people and make friends, and that's a good thing. After all, if you never make new friends, you'll end up all alone when your current friends die. And I certainly plan on outliving all my friends.
Such thinking even helps the most mundane tasks more enjoyable. This morning I got up and decided to mow our front lawn. Now, I'm not crazy about mowing. There are plenty of things most of us would rather do. It can be an obligatory chore that we always try to avoid. But, as I thought about it, I realized that mowing the grass gives me several opportunities. It's an opportunity to get some exercise. It's an opportunity to do something nice for my family. It's an opportunity to have some time to myself to think and reflect on some issues. It's an opportunity to figure out what I wanted to write in this post. Thus, all of a sudden, a burdensome chore like mowing the grass can become something to actually be excited about doing.
Go ahead and try it out. Start seeing everything you do as an opportunity for something good to happen. I think that every day is full of possibilities for something positive, but we often miss those possibilities because we're so focused on how we don't like what we're doing. When we do this, I think we can wake up each morning excited about what that day might hold instead of just looking forward to going back to bed that night.
Part of the problem, I have realized, is the way in which is perceive the various activities that I do throughout the day. It's a sad truth that, much of the time, I don't really like what I'm doing. It's almost like I wake up every day and immediately think, "Bleh, I have to do this and this and this, and I really don't want to." That's not a very positive way to live. It becomes difficult to get much enjoyment out of just about any activity.
My mistake in this attitude is that I tend to view the things I do as obligations. This automatically makes them less enjoyable for me, because I perceive them as something I have to do. I'll think, "I have to go work at the church all day, and then I have to take care of this chore, and then I have to do that." At times, even though I probably wouldn't say it out loud, I thinkm "Now I have to spend some time in the Bible and prayer." Even if it's something that I generally enjoy doing in itself, it becomes a burden when I think of it as an obligation.
A helpful shift in thinking is to begin seeing happenings in my life as opportunities instead of obligations. It's to look at a situation and focus on the good that can come out of it instead of my duty to get it done. Nearly every situation has a positive potential, with the exception of going to the dentist, unless I think about the opportunity I'll have to say curse words in my head.
Here's an example: For the most part, I'm not very eager to be someplace where I don't really know many people. I'm just not all that outgoing, and I always feel awkward and in the way. (Granted, the fact that I think of myself this way usually causes me to actually be that way. It's the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing.) Because of my aversion to being on socially unfamiliar grounds, I normally dislike those situations and certainly don't look forward to them. However, if I simply change my perception from seeing such a situation as an obligation to seeing it as an opportunity, it becomes much more enjoyable. I can think of it as an opportunity to meet new people and make friends, and that's a good thing. After all, if you never make new friends, you'll end up all alone when your current friends die. And I certainly plan on outliving all my friends.
Such thinking even helps the most mundane tasks more enjoyable. This morning I got up and decided to mow our front lawn. Now, I'm not crazy about mowing. There are plenty of things most of us would rather do. It can be an obligatory chore that we always try to avoid. But, as I thought about it, I realized that mowing the grass gives me several opportunities. It's an opportunity to get some exercise. It's an opportunity to do something nice for my family. It's an opportunity to have some time to myself to think and reflect on some issues. It's an opportunity to figure out what I wanted to write in this post. Thus, all of a sudden, a burdensome chore like mowing the grass can become something to actually be excited about doing.
Go ahead and try it out. Start seeing everything you do as an opportunity for something good to happen. I think that every day is full of possibilities for something positive, but we often miss those possibilities because we're so focused on how we don't like what we're doing. When we do this, I think we can wake up each morning excited about what that day might hold instead of just looking forward to going back to bed that night.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Why We Should Look a Little Lazier
It seems that when you want time to slow down the most, that's when it really feels like it speeds by. It's been two weeks since I graduated from Ozark, and I have used those two weeks to rest and relax with few responsibilities or obligations, and it has been great. This last week, I went to Indiana to spend some time with my best friend, and it was honestly the best week I have had in a long, long time. Now I'm back in Topeka, and in a couple days I will begin an internship with my home church for the summer, while I work on nailing down an apartment and finding a job for when I move to Cincinnati in August (so if you happen to be an employer in Cincy...hire me!)
The end of my "break" has reminded me just how busy life tends to be. There is always something to do, and probably none of us have as much time as we would like. When I was at Ozark, I always felt like I was behind (and I really was much of the time). Last fall, I was up for a good chunk of the night working on a project, and that's when I decided that I needed to be more responsible with how I used my time so that such occasions wouldn't happen as often. So at the beginning of each week, I began to make a weekly calendar that planned how I would use each hour of my days, and I would hang it on the wall next to my desk. And it helped a lot. It kept me on task and helped me eliminate the "dead time" of my week--times that I would poke around online or just sit and veg out.
What I have begun to think, however, is that some dead time is actually healthy. When I created my weekly plans, I filled up just about every moment of my day with something--doing homework, writing sermons, reading, watching movies, etc. That problem was that I missed out on times to actually do nothing besides sit and think. I was in need of purposeful downtime. I needed time to be still for a moment and just let my mind work through some issues. When I was so focused on always doing something so that I could get everything done, I neglected to give my mind some space.
After being a college student for so long, I have developed an unnecessary tendency to feel guilty if I'm not busy. It's like I don't know what to do if I don't have anything to get done. Lack of activity means I'm lazy, right? It feels like I have to be doing something. But that's just the thing. We don't always have to do something. In fact, we shouldn't always be doing something. Sometimes, what we need most is to be still.
I did a better job of this when I was younger. My freshman year at Ozark, I would often just lay on my bed and look at the ceiling and chill for a bit, rolling some ideas around in my head. A guy down the hall would always walk by and see me just laying there, and he would ask what I was doing, and I would reply, "Just chilling, man." And those times were important for me, I think. In many ways, I was smarter five years ago than I am now, and that is partly because I allowed myself to stop and reflect more regularly.
I have written before that in order to have something substantial to say (in blogs or conversations or anything else), it's important that we take in from others by reading and listening. I think this is true, but that's not all. We also need to allow ourselves to process what we have taken in. We need to spend time ruminating on the concept that we read, the conversations we have, the experiences we go through. Input without processing doesn't create very good output.
My encouragement to you, then, is that you allow yourself some time in your week to stop and think. When you go to bed, just lay there for a bit and reflect on your day before you go to sleep. Or sit in your favorite chair and let yourself daydream. Go on a walk but leave your iPod behind. Sometimes, it's when it looks like a person is doing nothing that they are the most productive.
And what should you think about during these times? Why, you should think about what sort of nice comments to leave here, of course.
The end of my "break" has reminded me just how busy life tends to be. There is always something to do, and probably none of us have as much time as we would like. When I was at Ozark, I always felt like I was behind (and I really was much of the time). Last fall, I was up for a good chunk of the night working on a project, and that's when I decided that I needed to be more responsible with how I used my time so that such occasions wouldn't happen as often. So at the beginning of each week, I began to make a weekly calendar that planned how I would use each hour of my days, and I would hang it on the wall next to my desk. And it helped a lot. It kept me on task and helped me eliminate the "dead time" of my week--times that I would poke around online or just sit and veg out.
What I have begun to think, however, is that some dead time is actually healthy. When I created my weekly plans, I filled up just about every moment of my day with something--doing homework, writing sermons, reading, watching movies, etc. That problem was that I missed out on times to actually do nothing besides sit and think. I was in need of purposeful downtime. I needed time to be still for a moment and just let my mind work through some issues. When I was so focused on always doing something so that I could get everything done, I neglected to give my mind some space.
After being a college student for so long, I have developed an unnecessary tendency to feel guilty if I'm not busy. It's like I don't know what to do if I don't have anything to get done. Lack of activity means I'm lazy, right? It feels like I have to be doing something. But that's just the thing. We don't always have to do something. In fact, we shouldn't always be doing something. Sometimes, what we need most is to be still.
I did a better job of this when I was younger. My freshman year at Ozark, I would often just lay on my bed and look at the ceiling and chill for a bit, rolling some ideas around in my head. A guy down the hall would always walk by and see me just laying there, and he would ask what I was doing, and I would reply, "Just chilling, man." And those times were important for me, I think. In many ways, I was smarter five years ago than I am now, and that is partly because I allowed myself to stop and reflect more regularly.
I have written before that in order to have something substantial to say (in blogs or conversations or anything else), it's important that we take in from others by reading and listening. I think this is true, but that's not all. We also need to allow ourselves to process what we have taken in. We need to spend time ruminating on the concept that we read, the conversations we have, the experiences we go through. Input without processing doesn't create very good output.
My encouragement to you, then, is that you allow yourself some time in your week to stop and think. When you go to bed, just lay there for a bit and reflect on your day before you go to sleep. Or sit in your favorite chair and let yourself daydream. Go on a walk but leave your iPod behind. Sometimes, it's when it looks like a person is doing nothing that they are the most productive.
And what should you think about during these times? Why, you should think about what sort of nice comments to leave here, of course.
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