Don't Sweat the Big Stuff

Many of you who read this see me pretty regularly, especially during the school year. And many of you have at some point ridden in my blue Buick Century that used to belong to my grandparents. I know you all love that car, as if it were part of your own family. So I am sad to announce to you that there is sickness in that family. Or at least more serious sickness than the normal windows/radio/air conditioner not working. Yesterday I was running an errand to the City Park here in Manhattan when I noticed that my speedometer was having a little too much fun. Usually my speedometer is very self-controlled and honest. We have a good relationship. But apparently it had drunk a few too many Red Bulls yesterday morning, because it was jumping all over the place, one second telling me I was going 40 mph, and the next claiming that I had put the car in park. Then today, the rest of my car decided to follow suit by alternating between propelling me down the road and then slowing down while the engine whirs. Every time I've started it up today, I've wondered if I'm going to get where I want to go. So far so good, but the day isn't over yet.

All of that has nothing to do with anything. Here's something that does have something to do with something: Far too often, we don't appreciate the little things in life. Now that's not an original thought at all. We all hear it all the time. But normally when I hear someone say such a thing, I think of stopping to smell a flower, sitting in a chair listening to Mozart, and writing a poem about the sunshine. And it all sounds so pansy-ish to me. I mean, seriously, I have no desire to do any of those things. The small things are for dweebs. I'm a grown man, and I don't really care about roses or Mozart or the sunshine.

But what I've realized is that, no matter who a person might be, they have "small things" in their life that make existence more enjoyable. For you, maybe they are roses and Mozart and sunshine. Or maybe it's pumping The Classic Crime in the car on the way to IHOP at midnight. Maybe it's sitting in a dorm room tossing a ball back and forth with a couple guys just to pass the time. Maybe it's sitting in Panera and observing the couples who seem like they're on their first date while you listen in on their lame conversations and take relief in the fact that you're not the only socially awkward person in the world.

I spend so much time and energy wigging out about the big things, or at least what I think are the big things. It's like I always feel like some cosmic weight has been placed on me, and it's my obligation to the universe to stress out about it. And the only result is that I walk around freaking out about all kinds of things, many of which I can't even do anything about in the first place. That's all pretty unnecessary, I think. Yeah, we can't just run away from some of the heftier issues in life, but neither should we obsess over many of them. Going crazy about stuff usually isn't a fruitful endeavor. That's why the small things are important. Life should be enjoyed. Life is humorous, and stuff is worth laughing at. Even bad stuff. We've got to be able to step back from crappy experiences at times and laugh at ourselves and laugh at how unfortunate things are.

One "small thing" that many people have told me they really like is to buy dinner for their best friend with the initials DJH. You could try that too.

Just One Reason That Reality TV is Dumb

In no way am I someone who's "in" with pop culture or current events. I don't follow the latest styles (I even wear denim shorts sometimes). My phone still flips open. I only have an iPod Nano. And normally, when something happens in culture, I don't find out about if for several weeks, if at all. Even so, for a pretty long while I've been noticing all sorts of things about the status of the couple from "Jon & Kate Plus 8." This is the show on TLC where this couple has about a million babies and they go to Disneyland and throw birthday parties and all sorts of fun things for the amusement of the television audience. I've actually even seen a couple episodes. But evidently, all wasn't well in the household, and the magazine headlines at the grocery store register were sure to let me know how Jon was seen at a baseball game with another woman and how Kate is on a diet to impress some new guy or whatever. But of course, we all know such magazines aren't trustworthy, so I figured this was something that would blow over in a few days.

Yesterday as I was surfing through the channels in the afternoon, I noticed at the bottom of the screen on TLC that there was to be a special episode of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" in which the couple would make a big announcement. I didn't watch the episode, but the headlines on MSN today informed me that the big announcement is that the couple is getting a divorce but that they're still going to do the show.

That was the big event. That's the announcement. That's the episode that TLC worked so hard to promote and make sure everyone watched. That's what weeks of magazine headlines pointed to.

What a sad, disheartening commentary on our society. This is an actual family, an actual marriage. And its implosion is used to sell advertisements. I obviously know nothing about the details or what led to this, but it's just sad. Another marriage crumbles, and no one is really even bothered. Heck, we celebrate it. A marriage fails, and America watches with interest. And Satan probably watches us with a little bit of a smile.

Leave Room For Jesus

It's a tricksy thing for kids who want to date someone from their church youth group. If a teen is going to date anyone, though, someone from their youth group probably isn't a bad choice. You know that they're hopefully fond of Jesus, and you get to see them a lot and go on all the youth group trips and everything together. But it also makes your relationship like a reality TV show in that all the other kids in the youth group get to watch every step of the way. Everyone knows when things are bad and when things are good and everything in between, and they're also there to make keep things in check. Whenever a couple gets a little cozy in the church van on a trip, someone is bound to yell out, "Leave room for Jesus!" Some people find this exclamation annoying. I always thought it was fairly humorous. Probably because I've rarely been in a relationship.

I went to Jr. High church camp this last week. I'm going to be honest, it was a little rough for me. I love middle school kids and I think they're a lot of fun and can be really funny, and I think ministry to them is important, but I don't know if I'm wired for it quite as much as I am high school ministry. It's just much more difficult for me to feel like I'm relating to them. They don't carry on normal conversations, but run around in little packs yelling "Football....YEAH!" in people's faces. They would rather throw rocks at ants than participate in a discussion of that evening's sermon. And they interpret the statement "Alright guys, it's time to be quiet and go to sleep" as "Hey guys, you should all start yelling a bunch of silly voices for the next 20 minutes."

So it was somewhat of a rough week for me. I had a lot of fun, but I was definitely ready to go home come Friday. And at a number of times throughout the week, I thought, "This is pointless. They kids don't have any interest in anything related to Jesus, and nothing I say is getting through to them. All they're going to get from this week is the memory of sugar rushes and bug bites."

And, as usual when I have a bad attitude about things, God let me know that I'm really stupid. I was certain that the camp was going to prove fruitless. And then on Thursday night God did his thing. My family group was having our discussion time that evening, and we were asking kids what had impacted them from the week and what they were going to change when they get home and all that, and it was all pretty typical until one of the guys, obviously being very broken, said that he had found Jesus that night. Long story short, three of the kids in my group decided to be baptized. And it had absolutely nothing to do with me. I was a pretty crappy group leader. Luckily for those kids, the two other people that I led with did an awesome job pouring into them, and God was apparently working on their hearts during the week.

Every once in a while, I need a reminder that I'm not really in control. I think I am. Heck, I'm going to be a senior in Bible college. I know how to plan events and I know which discussion questions to ask and I know how to format devos and all of that. So I think that I can make life-change happen. But the truth of it is that all of my puny efforts are pathetic in themselves. It's not like a math formula, where worship song + funny story + Bible verse + object lesson = transformation. Actually, I guess if you were going to format how it really is, it would be much simpler looking: Jesus' work = transformation.

So I guess it's important for us to realize that we don't have to worry about everything when it comes to ministry. Our job is to bring what we have and let God take care of the rest. Not that we have a right to slack off and not do the best that we can. But even our best efforts are still insufficient. But thankfully, God fills in the gaps where we're lacking. He takes our meager offerings and does something incredible. And he took a week that I thought was a waste of time and changes lives. So as we minister, it's probably a good idea to leave a little room for Jesus.

Tomorrow would have been my grandmother's 80th birthday. She was one of the most genuine, kindest, most giving, and most humble people I have ever known. If you know someone like that, you should thank God and then thank them.

Happy summer.

We're All Sinking

It's my day off! And to celebrate, I decided to leave Manhattan behind for the day and make an exodus back to the promised land of Topeka. Upon my arrival, however, I was subjected to even crueler slavery as I helped with the deck my parents are building behind our house. (Actually, I didn't help very much. I'm not very skillful with a drill.) On my drive down I-70 today, I was thinking about what I wanted to write, and I thought a little about how my blog posts tend to fall into three categories. First, there are those posts that don't really have much to do with anything but are aimed at generating a slight chuckle, so that people will tell me, "Oh David, you're post on the Bystander Effect was so funny! You're definitely going to have a hot wife with a humor like that!" Second, there are those posts where I objectively think about whatever topic and write something in a more analytical way. Third, at times I type up emotionally-driven musings that sort of run in circles until I feel like I've gotten it off my chest. I'm somewhat of a closet emo, I think. How embarrassing.

I was at high school camp at King Solomon this week, and it went great. It's my home camp, so I always love to get to go back (and I'll be there for two more weeks this summer, so....hooray.) But yeah, it was a great week, my family group was awesome, and fun was had by all. Especially by the 300 mosquitoes that feasted on my flesh. One song that we sang a lot during the worship services this week was "How He Loves" (which should be playing right now if you have your sound on. Listen to it. It's good). The song is really simple but has some really cool metaphors in talking about just how much God loves us.

God's love doesn't make sense. Perfect, unconditional love exists in so few places, and cheap, flippant love takes it's place in so much of the world. We have a God who loves us fully. Whose love is beyond our mental grasp. Who loves us regardless of our pasts, our faults, and our obnoxious habits. Who, even as we backstab him and blaspheme him and ignore him, continues to love us. Who loves even those who want absolutely nothing to do with him. It's more fantastic than I can get my poor mind around. But even though I don't totally understand it, I can cognitively accept the fact of God's perfect love.

Often, the bigger problem is that it's so hard to feel God's love. One day of camp, we talked about truth, and we discussed how even when we know it a truth, it can be a greater obstacle to accept that true. God's love is true, but it's a pretty hard truth to swallow at times. When we feel heart-broken and hurt and lonely, it's hard to accept that God's love is near. When we feel sinful and dirty and unworthy, it's hard to accept that God's love is unconditional. When we feel proud and independent and self-sufficient, it's hard to accept that God's love is needed. Sure, in my head I can think, "God loves me," but what do I do when that love feels so distant? When I can't sense it working into my life? I think the psalmists felt similarly at times:

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" Psalm 13:1-2

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent." Psalm 22:1-2

"I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted." Psalm 77:1-2

You might notice that all of these examples come at the very beginning of the psalm. I think that's probably because by the end of each one, the writer is praising God for his love and mercy, recognizing that the truth of God's love doesn't depend on whether or not we feel it at the moment. I especially like Psalm 13:5-6, where even after complaining that God has forgotten him, David writes, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."

I'm not totally sure how to do that. It's crazy how David is able to feel so dejected but still remain so faithful and confident in God's provision. I have a great deal to learn when it comes to that. I guess what needs to be accepted is that God's love is true. And it's also true that at times things suck and it's difficult to see that love or to feel like it's enough. But that doesn't make the truth of God's love any less true. The ability to be confident in that love in the midst of crappy circumstances is what carries us through. That's sort of what faith is. Holding onto what is unseen/unfelt.

It's probably good to ask how we can better emulate God's love in the here and now. My family group at camp talked about how, as Christians, we're to be like the moon. The moon doesn't generate it's own light, but only reflects the light of the sun. Similarly, we need to be reflections of the character of God to the world and to one another, and reflecting God's love is a huge piece of that. There's an interesting truth about love. Love is never about the lover, but only about the object of the love. Selflessness and love are joined together. When Christ came, he emptied himself, surrendered himself, and became nothing. Even as both his heart and body ached, he put others before himself. That's the kind of love we need to show. When I feel hurt and broken, I'm still need to consider myself healthily unimportant. I'm to love God and love others first. To love always and unconditionally. That's what God does for us.

Unrelated topic change: Maybe there's been a time in your life when you experienced something really crappy, but when you go to bed you have a dream about that same crappy experience happening. So when you wake up, you at first think, "Whew, it was only a dream." But then you realize that it's something that actually happened, and it's really, really unfortunate. It's quite the bummer when our problems follow us into the solace of sleep. Maybe I need to eat more pizza and pork rinds before I go to bed, so that I have crazy dreams about flying purple toaster ovens or something. That sounds way more fun.