Thanksgiving has come and gone. We feasted. We watched football. We fell asleep on our couches. And then the next day we reheated leftovers and did it all again. Tomorrow I'm headed back to Ozark to finish out the semester. Thankfully, I'm on the downhill slope of things, and these last few weeks shouldn't be near as stressful or crazy as the preceding ten weeks. But you never know these days. Joplin is due for another power outage, and that always adds a lot of fun to the mix.
Not a lot of people know this, but my blogging days did not begin with the creation of A Chicken in a Cage with a Ferret. For a while in high school, I had a blog called Less Than Heavy Thoughts From David. Each week, I would write a little single-paragraph post about some random idea that I had. It was my little way of trying to be clever, but it probably wasn't very good. However, I did get a lot more comments on it, which either means people liked it more, or my friends were more bored. Caitlyn actually found it last year and commented to me that I sound the same now as I did back then. It's a little sad that I apparently haven't gotten any smarter in five years. I was also a contributor for another blog, and I'm not for sure, but I think it was called The Relationship Experts (how misleading). Basically, three friends and myself would write about all we knew about girls, dating, and relationships. Understandably, it didn't last very long. Today, though, two of those guys are married, so I guess they at least knew what they were talking about. The other guy was a pretty free spirit and could be anywhere doing anything by now, sort of like Carmen SanDiego.
This post will follow the stream of The Relationship Experts in that I will use a lot of space showing how much I don't know. Because, as hard as it may be to believe, I've not had much luck with such things, if you haven't been able to gather that from all of my other self-depreciating posts. Last November I actually wrote a post all about it called "The Bystander Effect," which has been my most popular post by far. Go figure.
People have told me that my problem is that I need to be more confident. I guess I can see why they would think this because I probably don't show a lot of confidence when it comes to interacting with girls. (I mean, why do you need to show confidence when you already know you're the best thing ever?) In part, this is just my nature. But in part, I sit and watch guys who do seem to exhibit a lot of confidence, and I've decided that I don't want to be like that. There's a very fine line between being confident and being obnoxious, at least from where I sit. I see guys go up to girls they might not even know and immediately start getting to work. It's all especially noticeable the first month or so of school due to all the new students on campus. Anyways, a guy will goes up to a girl and starts talking about how great of a high school football player he was and throws in some comments about how nice the girl looks and a few "mean" remarks (you know, the silly remarks like "Dang girl, those are some goofy shoes" that kind of sound like an insult but are meant to show the girl how funny and clever the guy is). Then the guy will steal the girl's cell phone and secretly put in his own number under the name "David the Stud" and will tell the girl that she needs to text him every night, and right before he leaves, he mentions that he and a few people are going to some lake that weekend and that she should go, and she should bring as many of her attractive friends as she can. And through the whole thing, they're always so dang touchy, tapping the girl's shoulder so that she turns around when no one's there; placing a hand on the girl's knee "on accident"; making the girl feel his bicep since he's been going to P90X.
It all seems so ridiculous to me. I assume that few girls wish to talk to me, even fewer want my phone number, and none want me to lay a hand on them. So I see these "confident" guys, and I think, "Sheesh, what a chump. That girl has got to think that's the most annoying thing in the world." But then I'm shown how foolish I must be, because these guys end up getting the girl, and I continue to sit in my basement watching reruns of The Cosby Show. These guys take a fancy to a girl, and they have enough confidence in themselves to makes something happen. They totally ignore the David Heffren Paradigm of Pursuance (noticing a girl, maybe saying hi in the dining hall, facebook stalking for two months, asking "How are you?" on the way to class, facebook-poking a couple dozen times, and then finally chickening out. Crap, I just revealed all my secrets!). These guys act so fast, but yet so successfully! I honestly can't figure it out.
And so, even though confidence can seem so obnoxious, I guess it's something to be admired. Girls evidently like guys who are arrogant and kind of annoying. But whatever works, I guess. I've noticed a show, I think on MTV, where they take a few dweebs and try to make them ladiesmen by being trained by an recognized "player." Eventually they send these guys into a dance club, and they have to walk around and make use of their new skills. So they'll walk up to some girl and pull an act much like the one I described above by saying something like, "Wow, you look like someone I saw in a movie" or just "Hey, I know you right? From that party last week?" And sometimes they strike out, but sometimes it works well. I'm not sure if it's because of the loud music or the already-consumed alcohol, but the girl shows interest in the guy. MTV has nurtured within him a confident, go-get-'em attitude, and it pays off.
This week, I've been catching up on all the TV shows I like. One of those shows is Smallville. Being a fan of Smallville is probably the most girly thing I do, because it's on the CW, so it's full of all kinds of teenage-y drama. Everybody on the show is beautiful too; they never hire ugly or even average-looking actors. Each new season they bring in some new cast member, and I always think "Wow, look, it's another gorgeous 20-something with nice hair." Not a lot of diversity in that cast. But anyways, in this season of Smallville, Clark Kent realizes that he's in love with Lois Lane. He's talking about this with his friend Chloe, who tells him something like, "Clark, if you want something, you need to just go get it." So the next day Clark strolls into the Daily Planet, sees Lois, and walks right up to her and lays a big kiss on her! And she must have been okay with that, because she kisses him back, and within a couple episodes, they're a couple. And I think, "Man, if only I had the gumption of Clark Kent! How does he do it?" Of course, I'd also like to be able to pick up city buses and shoot fire out of my eyes.
But alas, I'm not Superman. Nor am I on an MTV reality show. I'm just a guy sitting on his bed playing with the rubberband he just found on his nightstand. And for now, I'll let others be the go-getters. After all, I don't want to use up too much energy until intramural volleyball season is over.
With all of that said, I leave you with a couple other thoughts about social situations. For the first, I make use of good old Donald Miller. I feel like I quote him somewhat frequently, and that may be happening even more in the near future, because I started reading his new book last night, and I also already have an idea for my next post, which will use some stuff from Blue Like Jazz. Anyways, he writes, "I can get tired when I talk to somebody new, because if there is silence in the conversation, I feel it's my fault." I feel like that even with people who aren't new. I'm really not much of a talker, and I feel really bad about that. It's not that I'm bored or anything, it's just that I don't really have a lot to say. That's why, if I were to gain some confidence and go on a date, I would be terrified. I wouldn't know what to do with it once I got it, much like a dog who chases a car. How am I supposed to keep another person entertained and interested through an entire dinner? I'll probably have nightmares even tonight thinking about such a horrifying dilemma.
Second, don't you hate it when you see someone who you kind of know but not very well, and they look at you and wave, and you think, "Oh wow, this person is glad to see me! I feel so honored! I wasn't even sure they would remember me!" So you raise your hand to wave back, but then you turn around and see that the person was actually waving at someone else behind you, and now you have your hand in the air like an idiot, so you sheepishly lower it and hope that no one saw you, even though you know they did. And it's always so embarrassing.
I think it's Christmas season. At least, The Santa Clause and Elf were on TV yesterday, so it must be. I really love Christmas season, and I love Christmas music, so that's what will be playing here for the next month. And remember, we here at A Chicken in a Cage with a Ferret are honored that you would choose to spend your holiday here with us.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sabbath
This semester has been out of control. What I have discovered about college, and possibly about life in general, is that it doesn't really get any easier. After every semester, I always take comfort in the thought that the next semester will not be so rough, but that thought always proves to be a myth. So the last few months have definitely been some of the craziest of my time at Ozark. Normally, I'll need to stay up till about 2 a.m. doing homework once or twice a semester, but I probably did so about six or eight times this semester. My problem has been that I have three classes that require an unusual amount of work. I don't know why my academic advisor let me take these classes at the same time. I thought he was supposed to be my friend. Also, I haven't even shaved since mid-October, just because I've felt so busy and lazy and unconcerned about what I look like. It's not as cool as it might sound, because me not shaving for seven weeks is what most guys look like after not shaving for four days.
My body is tired. My mind is tired. My emotions are tired. And now I'm home for Thanksgiving break, sitting on my mattress that doesn't sink in like my one at school, tapping away at my keyboard while I sip a Coke with a picture of Santa Claus on the can. And it's all so refreshing to feel like I can stop and breathe for a change. I don't think I've ever looked forward to a break from school so much before. If I didn't get a break for a couple weeks later, I very well may have lost my mind. It's actually one of my fears in life to go crazy. I'm pretty certain that someday down the road, I'm going to go insane, except I won't know I'm insane and I'll think everyone is out to get me, kind of like in A Beautiful Mind. But at least then they can make a movie about me: A Mediocre Mind. It'll be a hit.
Rest is so important in life, and yet we often do a terrible time of practicing it. This is probably in part because of our culture, where so much is demanded from us in so many spheres of life. When your days are full of classes and homework and meetings and responsibilities, topped off by relationships and hobbies, and then topped off even more with frustrations and disappointments, it becomes difficult to create a little bit of space for mind and body to rest. In addition to that, many of us do waste so much time. When we need to get something done, we sit around on facebook or writing blog posts, which just pushes off our responsibilities, which then pushes into our times of rest. The only result of this is that we feel more and more weighed down, and we drag our aching bodies out of bed and down a canister of 5-Hour Energy just to make it through the day. We're not made to be able to handle all that, and we nearly lose our minds because of all the furious activity of our lives.
I think it's so cool that God wants us to rest. In fact, for the Israelites, he commanded it by telling them to keep the Sabbath day holy and to abstain from work. He knows that our tendency is to work ourselves into the ground, so he wants to make sure that we stop and breathe every once in a while, that we replenish ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Yes, God wants us to work hard and to serve him with everything we've got. But he also wants us to relax and talk with friends, to sit and be contemplative, to stuff ourselves full of turkey, potatoes, and pie and to fall asleep in front of the TV during a football game. We need to take advantage of these opportunities for rest, these times to refill our empty selves. Otherwise, it's like trying to pour milk on your cereal from an empty jug. And dry Corn Flakes only get us so far.
Have an awesome Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for all of you, whether I know you're out there in Internetland or not. Read the other blogs on the sidebar (especially Charlie's post "Campus Craziness. He makes some especially good points in that one.) Go relax and think about something significant. Go read a book that you want to read, not just one you have to read for class. Watch some basketball. Eat Spangles. Actually, I guess I'm telling you all to do all the things I plan on doing with my week. So what I mean is this: Be like me this week. How egocentric of me.
My body is tired. My mind is tired. My emotions are tired. And now I'm home for Thanksgiving break, sitting on my mattress that doesn't sink in like my one at school, tapping away at my keyboard while I sip a Coke with a picture of Santa Claus on the can. And it's all so refreshing to feel like I can stop and breathe for a change. I don't think I've ever looked forward to a break from school so much before. If I didn't get a break for a couple weeks later, I very well may have lost my mind. It's actually one of my fears in life to go crazy. I'm pretty certain that someday down the road, I'm going to go insane, except I won't know I'm insane and I'll think everyone is out to get me, kind of like in A Beautiful Mind. But at least then they can make a movie about me: A Mediocre Mind. It'll be a hit.
Rest is so important in life, and yet we often do a terrible time of practicing it. This is probably in part because of our culture, where so much is demanded from us in so many spheres of life. When your days are full of classes and homework and meetings and responsibilities, topped off by relationships and hobbies, and then topped off even more with frustrations and disappointments, it becomes difficult to create a little bit of space for mind and body to rest. In addition to that, many of us do waste so much time. When we need to get something done, we sit around on facebook or writing blog posts, which just pushes off our responsibilities, which then pushes into our times of rest. The only result of this is that we feel more and more weighed down, and we drag our aching bodies out of bed and down a canister of 5-Hour Energy just to make it through the day. We're not made to be able to handle all that, and we nearly lose our minds because of all the furious activity of our lives.
I think it's so cool that God wants us to rest. In fact, for the Israelites, he commanded it by telling them to keep the Sabbath day holy and to abstain from work. He knows that our tendency is to work ourselves into the ground, so he wants to make sure that we stop and breathe every once in a while, that we replenish ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Yes, God wants us to work hard and to serve him with everything we've got. But he also wants us to relax and talk with friends, to sit and be contemplative, to stuff ourselves full of turkey, potatoes, and pie and to fall asleep in front of the TV during a football game. We need to take advantage of these opportunities for rest, these times to refill our empty selves. Otherwise, it's like trying to pour milk on your cereal from an empty jug. And dry Corn Flakes only get us so far.
Have an awesome Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for all of you, whether I know you're out there in Internetland or not. Read the other blogs on the sidebar (especially Charlie's post "Campus Craziness. He makes some especially good points in that one.) Go relax and think about something significant. Go read a book that you want to read, not just one you have to read for class. Watch some basketball. Eat Spangles. Actually, I guess I'm telling you all to do all the things I plan on doing with my week. So what I mean is this: Be like me this week. How egocentric of me.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Life is Stupid. Enjoy.
A few days ago, Charlie, Connor, and myself decided that we needed to take a trip. In the middle of suffering through the trenches of this time of the semester, sometimes you just need to get out of the dorm and go blow off some steam. So we did what any three single, crazy guys would do: we went to Wal-mart and Taco Bell. After Charlie had checked out and were waiting for Connor because he had to write a check like an old lady, I talked with Charlie about how I tend to take the same three or four topics and write about them in pretty much all my blog posts. I just recycle the same ideas and put different words to them. It's really sad, actually. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I've written before about how I use the same few topics all the time. So there's that.
From time to time, I'm accused of being a pessimist. It's a pretty fair characterization. Whereas other people see the glass as either half full or half empty, I usually see it as all empty. I really am trying to work at it. I decided constant negativity is probably a pretty unattractive quality. I don't think I'm quite as pessimistic as some people think, however. Most of it is a joke. A pinch of fatalism and self-degradation can be funny, but there is a fine line between funny and obnoxious, and I probably fall into the latter category too often.
All of that ties in only very loosely with what I'm writing about tonight. This past week, I was reminded several times about just how dumb life can be sometimes. I'm often reminded of this fact, and I often write about it. But this week, I've decided to put a more positive twist on it. Because life is dumb, but it's also funny sometimes precisely because it is dumb. It's full of unfortunate circumstances and tragic ironies that force you to sit back and think, "Wow, I can't believe this is how things work out. It's better than a movie script."
Bad things happen, and as I've written before, they're worth getting upset about. A lot of the time we try to stuff our emotions so that we don't let others find out that not everything is peachy. I think being genuine and open is normally a positive thing, and that's coming from someone who rarely shows any emotion at all. But at the same time, we often take ourselves way too seriously. We think every little bump in the road of life is a cosmic tragedy of cataclysmic proportions, and we drag our feet and hang our head and complain that "no one has ever gone through what I'm going through." And then we sulk in our locked rooms and listen to music that reminds us of how terrible life is while we devour a box of Cheez-Its out of our angst.
It's time for a shift in perspective. When something unfavorable happens, look at the humor in the situation and smile. As cliche as it may sound, a year down the road, whatever problem you had will probably seem like nothing. Yet we become so focused on what we don't like that we're unable to take a step back and enjoy it, not by overlooking or ignoring it but precisely because it kind of sucks. Life is a joke sometimes and people are ridiculous and thing turn out like they were never supposed to, and it's all so awesome. I think one of the best qualities a person can have is the ability to laugh at himself--to see a bigger picture of a situation and to say "Man, my life a joke, and I look like an idiot. That's pretty funny."
At church last week, we were challenged to think about which of the fruit of the Spirit we want to make more evident in our relationships. I decided mine should be joy. If you know me, there's a good chance that at some point in our relationship, I've either ignored you, made fun of you, or just been a jerk to you. And I really do apologize for that. I like people, I swear. I like life, and I like to laugh, and I like to laugh at life. So enjoy it all. So when the glass looks empty, don't just throw yourself into a state of lament. Fill it back up with Coke and drink it down again.
Tonight I enjoyed some delicious Chick-fil-A with my good friend Caitlyn. She's really smart but said she doesn't have much of a desire to write anything. I, on the other hand, am not very smart but like to write. So I thought, "Hey, we should collaborate!" And then I said my thought out loud. So be on the lookout for a Heffren/Lippitt post sometime in the near to distant future. (This is my hook that makes you come back and read again. Hope it works!)
From time to time, I'm accused of being a pessimist. It's a pretty fair characterization. Whereas other people see the glass as either half full or half empty, I usually see it as all empty. I really am trying to work at it. I decided constant negativity is probably a pretty unattractive quality. I don't think I'm quite as pessimistic as some people think, however. Most of it is a joke. A pinch of fatalism and self-degradation can be funny, but there is a fine line between funny and obnoxious, and I probably fall into the latter category too often.
All of that ties in only very loosely with what I'm writing about tonight. This past week, I was reminded several times about just how dumb life can be sometimes. I'm often reminded of this fact, and I often write about it. But this week, I've decided to put a more positive twist on it. Because life is dumb, but it's also funny sometimes precisely because it is dumb. It's full of unfortunate circumstances and tragic ironies that force you to sit back and think, "Wow, I can't believe this is how things work out. It's better than a movie script."
Bad things happen, and as I've written before, they're worth getting upset about. A lot of the time we try to stuff our emotions so that we don't let others find out that not everything is peachy. I think being genuine and open is normally a positive thing, and that's coming from someone who rarely shows any emotion at all. But at the same time, we often take ourselves way too seriously. We think every little bump in the road of life is a cosmic tragedy of cataclysmic proportions, and we drag our feet and hang our head and complain that "no one has ever gone through what I'm going through." And then we sulk in our locked rooms and listen to music that reminds us of how terrible life is while we devour a box of Cheez-Its out of our angst.
It's time for a shift in perspective. When something unfavorable happens, look at the humor in the situation and smile. As cliche as it may sound, a year down the road, whatever problem you had will probably seem like nothing. Yet we become so focused on what we don't like that we're unable to take a step back and enjoy it, not by overlooking or ignoring it but precisely because it kind of sucks. Life is a joke sometimes and people are ridiculous and thing turn out like they were never supposed to, and it's all so awesome. I think one of the best qualities a person can have is the ability to laugh at himself--to see a bigger picture of a situation and to say "Man, my life a joke, and I look like an idiot. That's pretty funny."
At church last week, we were challenged to think about which of the fruit of the Spirit we want to make more evident in our relationships. I decided mine should be joy. If you know me, there's a good chance that at some point in our relationship, I've either ignored you, made fun of you, or just been a jerk to you. And I really do apologize for that. I like people, I swear. I like life, and I like to laugh, and I like to laugh at life. So enjoy it all. So when the glass looks empty, don't just throw yourself into a state of lament. Fill it back up with Coke and drink it down again.
Tonight I enjoyed some delicious Chick-fil-A with my good friend Caitlyn. She's really smart but said she doesn't have much of a desire to write anything. I, on the other hand, am not very smart but like to write. So I thought, "Hey, we should collaborate!" And then I said my thought out loud. So be on the lookout for a Heffren/Lippitt post sometime in the near to distant future. (This is my hook that makes you come back and read again. Hope it works!)
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