Going to the Chapel

I went to a wedding this last weekend. That's what Ozark people do on their weekends--they go to weddings, because there's one pretty much every weekend, and we all really like cake and little cheese cubes. It was a very nice wedding, with a very simple service and a ton of guests and a little candy buffet at the reception. Fun was had by all, although the lengthy drive along I-44 was less than riveting, except for the mysterious fog that was centered on an adult video store by the highway on our way home.

Many weddings have a time of special music during the ceremony when one of the participants' friends sings a song while the couple takes communion or lights a unity candle or pours some unity sand or whatever, and this wedding was no exception. I always feel like this time is a little bit awkward, because the song usually goes a little longer than the partaking of community and the sand, so it ends up with everyone standing around while the musician finishes up. During this time, you can see the couple talking to each other a little bit to break the awkward tension of just standing there.

I commented to my friend sitting next to me at the ceremony that I always wonder what the couple is saying when they're talking up there. If they follow the tradition about the groom not seeing the bride on the wedding day until the ceremony, then this is the first time the two have talked all day. It's got to be a terribly odd time, I would think. So I thought about what I would probably talk about, and it would probably involve such enthralling statements as: "Hey...so....how are you?" or "So what'd you have for lunch today?" or "Did you see that the Reds won last night?"

I'm a pretty poor conversationalist as it is, and I can't imagine that I'm going to become wildly entertaining when I'm dressed in a tuxedo on stage with all of my family and friends staring at me. So if the future Mrs. Heffren is out there reading this, I apologize far in advance for that slot in the ceremony. But hopefully by that time, you'll already know that I'm fairly lame and at least have become used to that fact. If you haven't realized it by then, I guess you're in for a pretty long life.