It seems that when you want time to slow down the most, that's when it really feels like it speeds by. It's been two weeks since I graduated from Ozark, and I have used those two weeks to rest and relax with few responsibilities or obligations, and it has been great. This last week, I went to Indiana to spend some time with my best friend, and it was honestly the best week I have had in a long, long time. Now I'm back in Topeka, and in a couple days I will begin an internship with my home church for the summer, while I work on nailing down an apartment and finding a job for when I move to Cincinnati in August (so if you happen to be an employer in Cincy...hire me!)
The end of my "break" has reminded me just how busy life tends to be. There is always something to do, and probably none of us have as much time as we would like. When I was at Ozark, I always felt like I was behind (and I really was much of the time). Last fall, I was up for a good chunk of the night working on a project, and that's when I decided that I needed to be more responsible with how I used my time so that such occasions wouldn't happen as often. So at the beginning of each week, I began to make a weekly calendar that planned how I would use each hour of my days, and I would hang it on the wall next to my desk. And it helped a lot. It kept me on task and helped me eliminate the "dead time" of my week--times that I would poke around online or just sit and veg out.
What I have begun to think, however, is that some dead time is actually healthy. When I created my weekly plans, I filled up just about every moment of my day with something--doing homework, writing sermons, reading, watching movies, etc. That problem was that I missed out on times to actually do nothing besides sit and think. I was in need of purposeful downtime. I needed time to be still for a moment and just let my mind work through some issues. When I was so focused on always doing something so that I could get everything done, I neglected to give my mind some space.
After being a college student for so long, I have developed an unnecessary tendency to feel guilty if I'm not busy. It's like I don't know what to do if I don't have anything to get done. Lack of activity means I'm lazy, right? It feels like I have to be doing something. But that's just the thing. We don't always have to do something. In fact, we shouldn't always be doing something. Sometimes, what we need most is to be still.
I did a better job of this when I was younger. My freshman year at Ozark, I would often just lay on my bed and look at the ceiling and chill for a bit, rolling some ideas around in my head. A guy down the hall would always walk by and see me just laying there, and he would ask what I was doing, and I would reply, "Just chilling, man." And those times were important for me, I think. In many ways, I was smarter five years ago than I am now, and that is partly because I allowed myself to stop and reflect more regularly.
I have written before that in order to have something substantial to say (in blogs or conversations or anything else), it's important that we take in from others by reading and listening. I think this is true, but that's not all. We also need to allow ourselves to process what we have taken in. We need to spend time ruminating on the concept that we read, the conversations we have, the experiences we go through. Input without processing doesn't create very good output.
My encouragement to you, then, is that you allow yourself some time in your week to stop and think. When you go to bed, just lay there for a bit and reflect on your day before you go to sleep. Or sit in your favorite chair and let yourself daydream. Go on a walk but leave your iPod behind. Sometimes, it's when it looks like a person is doing nothing that they are the most productive.
And what should you think about during these times? Why, you should think about what sort of nice comments to leave here, of course.
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