Getting in the Way of Love

Today is a first here at A Chicken in a Cage with a Ferret in that I am having a guest blogger for the first time. Today's post comes from my friend Katie. She's a great writer and is basically a genius, and I figure my readers deserve to enjoy a good post every once in a while. Plus, she's writing on loving people, and you don't want me to write about that, because I really suck at it. Be sure to check out and follow Katie's blog here.

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For the past couple of weeks I've been thinking a lot of what it takes in loving people. Or more accurately, I've been struggling in loving people in the way that God commands. One of my first thoughts when it comes to love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I don’t know about you, but I’m a really big fan of love. It sounds like a real good deal to me, but what I have seen in the people around me, as well as in myself is that in our attempts to love others, we muddle it up. It’s not that we don’t know what love is. I think the passage in 1 Corinthians sums it up well, and Jesus gave us a great picture of what it looks like to live it out. I think often our problem is that we fail to recognize the barriers that keep us from genuinely loving the people around us. Whether it be from our own insecurities, selfish desires or cultural expectations.

Loving people is important. In the gospels, when Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is, his reply is pretty straight forward: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

But here's where I screw it up: The bit about loving our neighbors as yourself? Well, I sure like my neighbors, but most of the time I don't like myself. Often my own insecurities get the best of me. But loving people, I think involves a genuine, healthy love for yourself. How can we live a life transformed by an amazing, unending love without learning to love and accept ourselves for who we were created to be? Ultimately, our insecurities keep our focus on ourselves, limiting our attention on the people around us.

Another thing that I see a lot in myself, which I think may be from our culture and again my own selfish tendencies. But often, when we love we expect it to be reciprocated. Love knows no bounds, but I sure do. And I can put some pretty weighty conditions on a person in order for them to receive my very selfish, very messy love. But I don’t necessarily think that’s a healthy or true thought about love. Although it’s nice to be loved in return, genuine love for others is given freely. I think that you can see that most clearly during Jesus’ time on the cross, eh?

My last thought on this is from a couple of months ago. I watched a video about loving people despite their circumstances. I’ve mulled it over in my mind since then, and I can see why we would want to do that. It’s about acceptance. At least that’s what it sounds like to me, and I sure like acceptance. But the thing is, I think that view fails to actually meet other’s needs. When our needs are big, and well, just plain needy, often it’s the people that make an effort to meet those needs that shows true kindness, a genuine love. Maybe instead, our efforts should be to love people in the midst of their circumstances. During Jesus’ ministry, he didn’t just come to accept those seeking him. He came and listened to people and met their needs. He healed the sick, showed kindness and respect to the woman at the well when most ignored her, and met our greatest need - he freed us from our sin!

I don’t think this all is coming out how I have it in my head, but most of my thoughts rarely do come out right. And I'm sure there's a better way to explain all this and there are likely many more barriers we encounter in loving people. But basically, love is great, but loving people is hard work. We can’t do it on our own. And the times when we try to do it on our own, when our selfish desires get in the way, is when we fail to accept the transforming power of God's love for us. So get out there, and love some people. It's what Jesus would do.