The Loudest Wins

Several weeks ago, I saw a video online taken from Piers Morgan's show on CNN. I've debated with myself about whether or not to put up a link to this video, because I try not to intentionally inflict headaches on other people, but if you're really interested, you can see it here. The clip includes a conversation (using the term loosely) between Morgan and another man on the topic of gun control. Most of the video is just this guest screaming out half-facts and a few conspiracy theories in order to support his position that Americans should retain the right to possess any and every kind of weapon.

Even if I was a hardcore Second Amendment advocate, I think I would cease to be so after hearing this man's argument. But whatever.

My purpose in this post isn't to talk about gun rights. But what this video clip brought into very clear focus for me is that we are a country that has forgotten how to disagree well.

It's obvious that we live in a very divided society--one that is divided on a large number of issues. Every topic involves a debate: economic policies, gun control, abortion, homosexual marriage, energy, foreign policy. And those are just some of the major national issues. We argue about a host of other things as well: sports teams, Oscar predictions, and whether In-N-Out or Five Guys has better burgers.

Disagreements themselves aren't that bad. Of course we're not always going to see eye-to-eye. But our ability to express those disagreements and have a constructive conversation about some of these issues is lacking. If you've ever flipped on a cable news channel, been to a meeting of any sort, or scrolled through a YouTube comment section, you know what I'm talking about. People use issues of disagreement as boundary markers between themselves and anyone who thinks differently, and they lob verbal grenades into the "enemy territory" and hope to injure as many as possible.

We've created a world in which, if you don't agree with me on something, I have the right to make you an enemy. We villainize each other over our stances, putting each other in boxes according to how we see things. We fight wars instead of holding discussions. We try to tear each other down and bulldoze each other with our arguments instead of trying to come to the truth together.

For this reason, I don't often write about the "hot button" issues on my blog. To do so is so easy, and in that process, it's also easy to take a militaristic stance in which I'm more concerned with protecting my own pride and destroying my opposition than I am about having an intelligent conversation on an issue. That is not to say that I think these issues are not important. I think they are. But I also think that those sorts of conversations are usually better had in a different medium than here. Besides, how well would you be able to focus on the issue when you keep getting distracted by how attractive I am in my picture to the right?

Sadly, it's often the same story in the church when it comes to our inability to disagree well. And in the church, there are a lot of things to disagree about. There are biblical disagreements ("Does Genesis 1 mean that the world was created in six 24-hour days, or might it have been longer?"). There are theological disagreements ("Does God choose who will be saved, or is it up to us?"). There are ecclesiastical disagreements ("Can women be elders in the church or not?"). There are ethical disagreements ("How exactly should the church respond to the prospect of gay marriage?"). There are practical disagreements ("Should we give more money in the budget to the youth ministry or to missions?").

The church can seem like a minefield of potentially explosive issues, and navigating it can be a daunting task. It's even more threatening when you're a visible leader int he church and congregants constantly check your viewpoints against what they perceive as "scriptural fidelity." If you have an opinion that differs from another, you can be labeled as a false teacher or wolf in sheep's clothing.

So what's the point of all of this? Simply this: I urge you to please practice disagreeing well. Each topic of debate doesn't have to be an occasion for yelling over and belittling one another. I'm not saying that all viewpoints are equal or that we can't make absolute statements. But if our conversations aren't filled with love and respect, nothing is gained. So let's try to recapture civilized discourse, because nothing is being helped by all our yelling. Or, in our online society, by TYPING IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS TO SHOW HOW ANGRY AND/OR PASSIONATE WE REALLY ARE!